Sunday 3/9

Location: Forest, VA to Gatlinbug, TN
Weather: Sunny, high 40s
Music: Frank Zappa – Sheik Yerbouti, Porcupine Tree – The Sky Moves Sideways, King Crimson – Discipline, Liquid Tension Experiment – LTE I, Primus – Antipop, Netmusique – International Free Riding Radio Show, Pink Martini, Smashing Pumpkins – Greatest Hits, The Pixies – Doolittle, The Office (Season 4), R.E.M. – Green

I was deathly afraid of waking up at noon after rocking deep into the night so I went to bed restless and suffered accordingly. Or maybe it’s just one of those mother-son things. Regardless, I got Alex up at around 10:00 and we were on the road just after 11.

Prior to the trip, I had done a lot of planning in the sense of “looking at the map and finding possible ways to go / things to do” but had hardly come up with an exhaustive list. For today, I had seen us heading west to I-81 and taking that nearly all the way with a stop at Mt. Rogers (the VA state highpoint) along the way. The 300-mile trip would be nearly all on interstate. With a serious trip to Mt. Rogers not looking too good after our late bedtime, a trip down the Blue Ridge Parkway looked like a better bet. We’d be able to sightsee from the road, make brief stops to gawk and maybe tramp around a bit, and then cut back to the highway.

The gawking went well; cutting back, not so much. After some troubles getting out of Lynchburg and finding coffee, the drive down to the parkway was great—two lanes each way of 55+ MPH driving through beautiful farmland with the ever-nearing mountain backdrop, and the parkway pretty much lived up to its “America’s Favorite Drive” billing. We stopped at most of the first few “Overloooks”, nearly always enjoying a fine view of mountains near or far, beautiful houses, or gently rolling terrain, and finally stopped stopping because the afternoon was running away, though we did make a special stop and walk down to America’s smallest hydroelectric power plant. The parkway was always two lanes with a lot of mild curves and elevation changes; in the summer it must be painfully busy but, nearly deserted, it made for fantastic driving. The Escort didn’t seem to be laboring at all. Things were mostly brown except for a few dazzlingly lush lawns, so it was hard to tell plants apart, but there were a few spots that had just been demolished by what looked to be invasive vines. I don’t want to think about it.

After a while, the roadway moved primarily into the trees, and progress was slow with all the winding around. Just into North Carolina, we got off and headed up to US-221, which appeared to be a more direct southwest-running option. We passed through the “city” of Sparta and its Trojan Shopping Center uneventfully and things were looking good as the speed limit went up to 55. That wasn’t happening, though, as most of the next 80 or so miles were spent ascending, winding, and descending past farms, open space, and generally decrepit housing. At some points, when we passed through more forested areas, it reminded me of the road to Sculpted Rocks in central New Hampshire, and the general “poor farming area” was similar to parts of central/southern Virginia, but I had never seen it on this scale. The landscape was consistently beautiful—I’m still not fully over the sheer amount of open space and how beautiful it all looks—but we couldn’t figure out what any non-farmers did for work. A pickup truck followed us closely for a number of miles over one of the slowest sections before finally passing, and it was clear that the fun must get old pretty quickly. I feel like an idiot for ever questioning the ruggedness of the southern Appalachians.

Finally, things straightened out, we got back to interstate-land (I-26) and we heard our first hints at southern drawl at a Subway near Johnson City, TN. The sun set on our cold cuts, so it was prime time to cruise down I-26, I-81, I-40, and finally onto TN-66, the divided road to Gatlinburg.

We got onto 66 in Kodak, and according to the maps passed through Severiville, Pigeon Forge, and finally Gatlinburg but you’d never know it from the car ride alone. Except for a short stretch of parkway, the entire ~20-mile drive was built up on all sides not only with every chain hotel and restaurant imaginable but with a gaudy assortment of local attractions. Even in the off-season, there was neon everywhere as we were invited to visit the indoor roller coaster, two race tracks, several mini-golf adventures, a bevy of Ripley’s Believe-it-or-not extravaganzas (including, it Gatlinburg, the museum that started it all), and oh so much more. Alex compared it to a family-friendly Las Vegas; I was completely without a point of reference. I’m sure the approaching national park in the background would have made for nice contrast during the day. Tennessee, we hardly knew ye!

The desk clerk was frosty at first but softened after we didn’t try to negotiate down from $35/night. Have I mentioned how much I love AAA?

Our post-morteming with Google Maps revealed that once we took the Parkway as far south as we did, we were in for a really long day no matter what and the thing to do would have been to get of at I-77, about 25-30 miles north of where we ended up exiting, and taking 77 NW until we hit I-81. Someday I’ll surprise my child by looking at his/her planned route and saying “Yeah, it’s most direct but taking the ugly highway route will be a lot faster”, but he/she also probably won’t believe it until they see it. As a route-finding geek, I’m not thrilled with having taken over ten hours (with stops) to make this trip, but we sure did see a heck of a lot.

Forgot to pack: toothpaste, wind pants, long johns, ibuprofen.